I don’t think I’ve slept more than two hours a night in the past week. Not because of the noise—though yeah, the base is never really quiet—but because of the waiting.
Every rumor, every whisper about early returns made my stomach twist. I kept refreshing that damn app like it was going to suddenly tell me I could pack my duffel and go.
Then this morning, 0400 sharp, the CO called my name. Just my name. No context. I thought I’d messed something up. My boots were half-laced when I ran across the lot.
But she looked me dead in the eyes and said:
“You’re cleared. Wheels up in 72.”
I didn’t cry. Not then. I just nodded and said, “Yes, ma’am.”
But as soon as I got back to the bunk, I lost it. Like full-on, silent sobbing into my scratchy pillow, praying no one else would notice.
Then I did the weirdest thing.
I didn’t call my mom.
I didn’t text my sister.
I logged on.
Just typed it out raw:
“After 15 months, I’m going home. I’m going home. I’M GOING HOME.”
I posted it before I even took off my uniform. Before I showered. Before I told a soul in my family.
And the comments started flooding in. Strangers. People who don’t even know my name.
“Thank you for your service.”
“Welcome home, hero.”
“Crying with you.”
It was… weirdly healing. Like the world knew what this meant before my own people did. Like I needed someone to hear it right away, even if it wasn’t them.
But now, I’m staring at my mom’s name on my contacts list, thumb hovering.
I haven’t hit call yet.
I don’t even know what I’m afraid of.
Maybe hearing her cry.
Maybe crying myself.
Maybe making it real.
But I’ve got 72 hours.
And I think… I think I want her to be the first person I see when I land.
Thing is, I never told her the full story.
I mean, she knew I was deployed. Of course. But she didn’t know the heavy stuff. Like how close I came to not making it out of that patrol in Sangar Province last fall. Or how I watched my buddy, Marcial, get airlifted after an IED ripped through the lead truck.
I kept all that bottled up. Wrote her lighthearted emails. Sent her pictures with sand in my teeth and dumb jokes about the food.
So maybe that’s what’s stopping me. Maybe I’m ashamed. Or maybe I just want her to still believe I came back the same.
But here’s the twist.
When I finally do call—two hours later, pacing a stretch of dirt behind the barracks—she doesn’t cry.
She laughs.
A small, shaky laugh that sounds like it’s holding back a scream.
“Tomas?” she says. “Is it really you?”
And when I say yes, when I tell her I’m coming home, she just whispers, “Thank God. Thank God.”
And then—another twist—she says something I don’t expect.
“I knew.”
I blink. “You… knew?”
“I saw your post. I’ve had a burner Facebook account for a year. Just to keep an eye on you. I saw it before you even called.”
Turns out, my mom had been quietly following every update, every tagged photo, every crumb of info she could find. She just never said anything. Never wanted to stress me out.
“I wanted you to tell me when you were ready,” she said. “And I knew… someday you would.”
That floored me. That after everything, she still gave me that space. That she didn’t guilt me, didn’t scold me for not calling sooner.
So when I land at the airport 71 hours later, wearing my uniform and gripping my bag like it’s the last anchor to my old life, I scan the crowd and there she is.
Shorter than I remember. Wearing my high school hoodie. Crying now, finally.
And when I hug her, it’s like every mile between us disappears.
That’s when I realize something that hits harder than any deployment ever did:
Home isn’t just a place. It’s the people who wait for you without rushing you. Who know your silence means something deeper than words.
And yeah, I told the internet first.
But I came home to her.